


How to Love

by allfandomnolife



Series: Love is Odd [1]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-07-14 21:08:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7190507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allfandomnolife/pseuds/allfandomnolife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You have a week to prove to Bucky that he deserves to be loved</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Love

“You don’t understand, Y/N. I’m a fucking monster, a killer. Monsters can’t be loved.” Bucky raked his metal arm through his hair and pulled at it. His frustration was growing much like yours.  
“I don’t get you, James.” You walked close to him and put your hand to his cheek, he didn’t shrug you off but instead, he basked in your warmth. “Give me a week to show you that I love you.”  
He nodded and walked off. You would’ve followed him but your mind whirled with a series of ideas to make him understand that you loved him more than he could ever fathom and that you weren’t going anywhere.  
i  
Hey, Buck,  
Whenever you think that you aren’t loved, read this and remember.   
There are seven billion people in the world and yet I keep running home to you. You make me feel safe and whenever you’re here, I feel better because you know me. It’s more than what I let everybody see, it’s that you know how I feel when I don’t say anything or how you hold me until the tears are gone and I can speak again.  
I love everything about you. From the way that you smile to the way you chase Steve around when he wakes you up or steals something of yours or beats you in a sparring match. You’re perfect, you don’t understand that it is more than your boyish charm and the way your words are a little more accented when you’re angry.  
You constantly call yourself a monster but in reality, you’re a man. You’ve lived through the worst of times and ever since you’ve been back to yourself, you’ve done everything you could to redeem yourself. Only, you don’t need to because nobody ever blamed you, it wasn’t you that did that. You are always so conscious about what you were forced to do and you have to live with that but it isn’t your fault, James. It’s not your fault. You were a victim of it all.  
I don’t think you’d ever fully understand how you make me feel or how much you’ve made everybody’s life that much better. I wish that one day you will let me love you.  
I love you,  
Y/N  
You slipped the letter under Bucky’s door and walked away. You wanted him to read it himself and let him understand just how much he meant to you. It was difficult as he constantly demonised himself.  
ii  
You enlisted the help of Natasha and Wanda to redecorate the living room in the tower to look like one of the 40′s bars Bucky went to. Steve told you about the food Bucky loved, the songs that he danced to and what everything looked like before the war.   
You took it upon yourself to actually cook. It was relaxing for you and you picked a dress that would’ve been worn back then and styled your appropriately. You brought a suit in Bucky’s size and placed it in his room when he was on a mission.  
Once dinner was ready, the area looked like you had created a time machine and you looked decent, Bucky arrived home. He looked astounded at his surroundings and could not contain his smile, “Wow, doll, this looks amazing.”  
“Thanks, Buck. I thought you’d appreciate a trip back to your youth,” You walked to him and placed a small peck on his lips and you dragged him to the table whilst you started the music. “Come on, I made your favourite.”  
The pair of you ate and seeing Bucky smile made your heart melt just a little. “You didn’t have to do all of this.” He squeezed your hand and he was met with a timid smile.  
“I have six days to prove to you that I love you and you deserved to be loved. I want to show you just how much you mean to me and that there is nothing that I wouldn’t do for you.” You pulled him up and the both of you danced to the soft hum of the music.   
“You’re too good to be true, Y/N.” Bucky kissed you and your arms wrapped around his neck whilst the pair of your bodies still swayed to the music. He pulled away and you started to clean up the table. Bucky stopped you from washing the dishes and insisted that he cleaned as you cooked.   
iii  
You were woken by screaming. It was the sort of scream that chilled a person, it made your blood run cold and it made you break out in a cold sweat. Along with the screaming, loud crashes echoed around your floor and you had to find out what was going on.   
You walked down the hall and when you passed Bucky’s room, you heard all of the screams. You opened the door and you saw Bucky thrashing around. He was having a nightmare and Steve also ran in. He woke Bucky who was undoubtedly frightened and dazed.   
“Steve, Y/N, what are you doing here?” Bucky looked terrified, his hair was stuck to his forehead and his body was shaking just a little.   
“I heard you screaming and I guess, Steve did too.” You walked to Bucky and stroked his hair, Steve nodded and left the room. “Are you okay? You’re shaking.”  
He shook his head and opened the blanket for you to crawl under. He gave you a quick look and you nodded, Bucky then opened a drawer and pulled something out. “Can you read this to me? I want to hear your voice.”  
Bucky gave you a piece of paper and you realised that it was your letter. You started to read it to him and you stroked his hair. Between paragraphs, you peppered kisses on his face and neck. “I love you.”  
Bucky pulled you closer to him and his face was nuzzled in the crook of your neck. He fell asleep and you waited for him to completely doze off before you let the slumber take you over.  
iv  
It was around 2AM and you couldn’t sleep as neither Steve or Bucky were home yet. When they did get back, Steve said that it was a mission that went a little sour. The pair of super soldiers were littered with cuts and bruises. As per usual, the pair of them stumbled into your bedroom with injuries and you had a first aid kit, some whisky and a change of clothes for them both.   
Steve insisted that he would be fine after a quick shower so he made a beeline for his own bedroom whilst you tended to Bucky’s wounds. You made him take a few swigs of whisky whilst you cleaned the dried blood off of him and stitched him back together. You iced some of his bruises and then sent him off to take a quick shower.   
“You know that you didn’t have to wait for us.” Bucky kissed you gently and you rested your arms on the bed as you didn’t want to worsen his injuries. “You should’ve gone to sleep.”  
You stroked Bucky’s wet hair and got out the hair dryer. “I couldn’t sleep. I had to know that you were okay, and Steve being alive is a major factor. I know for a fact that if he was injured really badly, you wouldn’t be okay.”  
He knew that you were right and so he pulled you into another kiss. “I love you so much, Y/N.” Bucky was letting you love him and it wasn’t like you had done anything different, it was just that he was aware of everything.  
“I love you more, James Buchanan Barnes.” You jokingly poked him and pulled him to bed. He fell asleep instantly and you couldn’t help the sigh of relief.   
v/vi  
Friday night was always movie night with you and Bucky so you planned a whole evening of watching Disney films. They included all of the Toy Story films, Finding Nemo and The Incredibles because the sequels would be out soon. You knew that Bucky had not seen them and so you prepared some popcorn, ordered an obscene number of pizzas and raided the local supermarkets for all of the necessary snacks.   
Bucky laughed when he saw all of the food and crawled into bed with you. “You know that it’s gonna suck when food falls onto our bed, right, doll? We have to sleep in it.” Bucky ran his fingers through your hair and shook his head.  
“It’s your bed, I’m just here because you want me to be here.” You stuck out your tongue and Bucky jokingly licked it. You scrunched up your nose as he laughed and clutched his stomach in amusement.  
“You shouldn’t stick your tongue out, doll.” His boyish smirk returned and you rolled your eyes. You started the first film and curled up against your boyfriend. He seemed to enjoy the film and his face fell when you told him that the next instalment would be out in 2018.  
“I thought you said that it would be out soon.” Bucky pouted and it was your turn to laugh at him. “That is not very soon. I want to know what happens.”  
“I had to wait 11 years for Toy Story 3, don’t you dare talk to me about waiting a long time. I also had to wait 12 years for Monsters University!” You nudged him but you too were a little disappointed that you had to wait for such a long time. “How do you still have a concept of time? You’re like 100.”  
“What’s Monsters University?” Bucky looked at you confused. It was almost as if he thought that there was an actual one. All things considered, i wouldn’t be that hard to imagine, aliens were real, you all once fought a Norse God and you fight with one too.  
“There’s a film called Monsters Inc. We’ll watch it after Finding Nemo.” You yawned as movie night turned into Saturday morning but neither of you wanted to sleep, instead, you wanted to watch all of these films.   
“You’re tired. You should sleep, Y/N.” Bucky pulled you even closer to him so that your head was rested against him. It would stop your neck from hurting when you woke up. “Did you notice that the brother and sister are like Wanda and Pietro?”  
You let out a snort of laughter because Violet and Dash were basically the twins. “Oh wow! Yes! They totally are. This is brilliant.” Tears streamed down your face with amusement and you struggled to catch a breath. “I dare you to tell them.”  
“Sure, send my to the hounds, why don’t you.” Bucky laughed with you and the pair of you were unable to contain your laughter. “They would strangle me if I told them. I still want to watch the next film.”  
The food was long gone and Bucky was entranced with Dory’s memory loss. He joked that he was basically Dory and you slapped him for it. You didn’t tell him but it made you a little sad.   
After that film, you introduced Bucky to Mike and Sulley. He enjoyed the film and at some point, the both of you fell asleep. Steve woke the pair of you up and Bucky flipped him the finger. “It’s 4pm, guys, wake up.”   
“I went to sleep late. Piss off.” You mumbled through your sheets and hid beneath them as light streamed into your room and that wasn’t fun. “Was watching Disney films.”  
Steve finally left the pair of you alone and Bucky shouted: “just keep swimming.” You could not contain your laughter and you giggled. Bucky tickled you and you squealed.  
“You. Did. Not. Just tell. Steve. To.” You couldn’t string a full sentence due to how hard you were laughing. Your lungs burnt and you were sure that you would have some serious abs after this. “Just. Keep. Swimming.” You choked out your broken sentence and Bucky looked at you amused.  
Steve knocked on the door and you called for him to enter. “I’m glad to see that the pair of you are now awake, but why did Bucky scream at me to swim?” Steve looked like a lost puppy and you burst into laughter again.  
“Finding. Nemo. Dory.” You yet again could not string together a coherent sentence. Steve looked confused until Bucky explained that it was a film and told Steve to watch it himself.   
vii  
It was your last day and you were stuck as to what to do. You wanted to really surprise Bucky but you opted against it. Instead, you decided to just make dinner for the pair of you. Only this time it was not going to be set in the past, instead, it would be a normal dinner.  
You cooked lasagna and you didn’t dress up this time. You wore some comfortable clothing and put your hair in a messy bun. It looked a little lazy but you wanted a comfortable evening with Bucky. He was upstairs in his room which had become the pair of yours’ as you moved in at some point.  
You called him down for dinner and he put on Parent Trap. You looked at him confused and he told you that he researched some of the films that people loved to watch and also mentioned that Mean Girls was an option. You plated up dinner and the pair of you sat on the sofa and ate.  
Once the film was over, you turned to Bucky and kissed him lightly. “Have I proven to you that I love you and that you deserve to be loved?” You asked Bucky but deep down you didn’t want to know on the chance that you failed. You put on a little smile but Bucky saw through it and kissed you.   
The kiss told you everything that you needed to know. It was passionate and needy, not soft and sweet like the normal ones. It was a kiss that was full on answers and truths. It made your knees buckle and your heart skip. “I think that you taught me how to love. You taught me that I’m not a monster and that you’ll always be here. I didn’t even notice just how much love I got from you until this week.”  
“Oh, Bucky.” Tears fell and Bucky pulled you to him. Your tears ruined his shirt and he didn’t care. He loved you and you loved him back. “I love you.”  
“I love you too, doll. I finally understand.”


End file.
